Category Archives: Musings

We’re not what we’ve seen.

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We’re not what we’ve seen.

Marchin On, OneRepublic

We’re not what we’ve seen, we’re not who we were.

We’re a new creation in Him.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Him, Music, Musings

Dying in Dreams

Firstly, I’m not suicidal. Don’t worry, it’s just a random thought that I’ve been wondering – Do we die in dreams? No, its not those 3rd person scenes where you see yourself dead in a coffin but  one where you are in your own shoes, experiencing movement, emotions and then death.

Random, I know. But this question was sparked based on my own dreams and my friend’s latest nightmare on being hunted by gangsters. I’ve had similar types of dreams and the one thing in common in all those dreams is that I never die. Whether its being hunted by a killer or an axe wielding monster trying to slice me into luncheon meat, I’d wake up just as the axe is about to land on me.

Remember those dreams where your feet accidentally falls into a hole or something, you actually feel that in real life. If these dreams can feel so real and have seemingly a connection with our physical body. I wonder what happens when we die in our dreams. What could the repercussions be to our physical self? Why do we always wake up just about when that moment is about to strike?

I’m beginning to think that our lives may not be so different from such dreams after all. Seeing how we’re not of the dream world yet while dreaming are made to believe otherwise, would it be similar for our current existence as the Bible says that we are not of this world either. Could it be that when a believer faces death, he/she just simply wakes up in heaven?

Well these are merely my thoughts on the subject, but it would be pretty cool to be able to see life as a dream. In a dream I have always wished I could bring in extra ammunition or support to fight off that axe wielding monster the next time I face him, and the good news is that in this life we do have that extra ammunition and support to fight off our giants – Jesus.

If life is like a dream, I want it to be a sweet one. And until the day I wake up from it, I know i’ll always be kept from harm because in this dream I have a saviour.

2 Comments

Filed under Musings, Randomness

Here

I realized problems follow you into new seasons.

Problems wont let go of you, you let go of them… and believe

I’ve been in Singapore for over a week and its been awesome. I attended GenRev service for the very first time and attended what I believe to be one of the BEST services of the year preached by Ps. Mark. I met JianZhong in person and was attached to a very interesting care group ;). Spent quality time with my aunt and uncle plus meeting up with Stephen.

I’m finally where I want to be – among friends, among brothers and sisters in Him.

But truth be told, its not Happily Ever After. If anything, old nightmares seem to be recurring along with new worries. The storms are rising, the giants reappearing. Yet, in the midst of storms and giants there’s Jesus more apparent everytime He’s preached in service, everytime He’s exalted in worship, everytime I’m reminded of His faithfulness in fellowship.

(=

I’ll not falter before the storms and the giants cause I know I’m not alone. You’re here with me, with them. I’m in good company and I’m where I want to be.

3 Comments

Filed under Him, Musings, New Creation Church, Singapore

Worried No More

5 centimeters per second

” …how people often start together but slowly drift into their separate ways.”

– Makoto Shinkai, 5 centimeters per second


I am was worried that somehow we would drift apart, into our separate ways. The past months were better than awesome because of you, but its no longer May and we’re no longer in Switzerland.

I know my worries are unfounded and even selfish, but I am scared because I know there’s only ONE of you. You’ve given me reassurance that things will remain no matter what, but still I worry cause we change, circumstances change.

Then, I’m reminded of how ‘people start together’. The odds, the chances, the probability of us coming to know each other and getting along as we did is beyond all these petty worries. Call it fate, coincidence, karma or whatever, but I know its much more than just chance –  it’s Him.

If He could bring people together against all odds, I’m counting on Him to keep us together against all odds.

I spent my first day being 21 in Singapore, and I’m happy you were part of it.

I’m worried no more, cause I know great days are coming. I’m sure of it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Him, Musings, Personal, Prayer, Singapore

Take a Breather

In the midst of

endeavouring to complete that 12,000 word document,

attempting to pack 40+ kg of luggage into 2 suitcases,

planning for the awesome times ahead with Jie in Singapore,

and trying to make sense of it all…

I’m losing my appetite, my sleep, my focus.

My thoughts are everywhere…

Family, Jie, Birthday, Singapore, Church, Dissertation…

*Take A Breather*

that was the first line on JZ’s blog post and just what I needed.

I’m in the final stages of completing my degree, I’m about to go home after almost a year in Switzerland, I’m about to celebrate my 21st b’day, I’m about to attend service at NCC again, I’m about to see Jie :D…

There’s so much to be grateful for, if only I’d Stop. Take a breather, and take in all the blessings He has for me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Him, Home, Musings, Personal, Singapore

Homeward Bound

The semester’s been over for half a week now, and it ended with a HUGE bang!

Jie received her much deserved honours and best academic award, and for whatever reason I am still extremely thrilled for her.

I’m sitting on a reclining chair in a 600 Euro per week apartment. The place is awesome but not so when you’re struggling to complete your final dissertation draft before leaving for Lodon later in the afternoon.

Yes, I’m going to London for over a week, and to welcome my arrival the Tube people got on strike, closing most Underground services. What better way to experience a city and its people but line up in unending bus queues with them. Excitement is an understatement.

I want to go home,

I want to go home to go to Singapore.

I’m trying to change my return ticket to a much earlier date, a somewhat difficult feat thanks to my travel agent and chosen airlines – Qatar Airways, the world’s 5 star airline with a 1 star website. There is no logic in staying back for my dissertation. The tutor’s going away, the library is the size of my living room and I have to pay 2 month’s rent worth of 480 CHF when I’m only staying for 4 weeks at most.

The working conditions in M’sia is no less frustrating. The 2 more old than faithful libraries in Ipoh, I have no trust in… unless I’m looking to borrow children’s story books with missing pages from the 80’s and I dont even know where the national library is located at in Kuala Lumpur. I’ve also lamented the fact that if only I were living in HK or Singapore I’d definitely work on my dissertation back home, where public transportation services rarely go on strikes and the National Library is actually a building you would want to take a picture with.

KL national libraryKL NL

SG national librarySG NL

Had I known Jie sooner, I’d definitely thought of hopping over to Singapore for my dissertation, which happens to be my plan for now. Undying gratitude to my cousin / relative Mei Mei, her husband and the Chao Da roti prata girl for agreeing to accomodate me should my plan come to fruition.

I’m not sure if the plan’s gonna work out. It all depends on the availability of earlier return tickets and the cost of it. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to hop on over to Singapore soon enough, or to convince myself that my purpose in Singapore is that of a student not a tourist / PR-wannabe who’s excited about everything Singapore. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt this semester, its Jie’s determination and focus.

I’m gonna be determined to go home sooner, to focus on the tasks at hand. And when all is said and done, I’m hopeful that things are going to work out for my good cause of You.

I’m missing my Jie loads along with everyone back home. You all mean so much to me, so much so that I could only sit and ponder what could I have done to deserve such awesome people in my life. And I know its not about me.

*

Jie, thanks for everything. For allowing me to be part of your graduation, for the encouragements, the conversations, the company, the ‘slaps’ whenever I do something utterly silly, the billy bear…

better than anything else

Leave a comment

Filed under Home, Musings, Singapore

The Blunder

I just realized I made a big blunder… something that may literally co$t me quite a bit.

Punched the door, *argh-ed*, *sigh-ed*, uttered curses, stooped head.

I did what I could to rectify the problem, what happens next is out of my control.

To worry, to whine, to blame, to dwell OR not to?

It’s not the end of the world, and I should stop acting like it is.

I’m Hopeful for better things to come, and I’m sure of it.

What’s the big blunder compared to bigger blessings.

It’s a great opportunity for me to STOP. REFLECT. and be GRATEFUL… for everything.

It’s going to be alright,

The semester’s still ending with a Bang!

Leave a comment

Filed under Musings, Prayer